Jenz

Hey.

Christmas is the only part I don't hate about Christmas. Except the solstice.

Did anyone else feel like Christmas was actually yesterday? I just kind of got that vibe...

Well, goodnight.

Signed,
-Jens

RIP
Minivan
1994 - 2007

-Jens

The following is an entry I wrote on October 16th, but never got around to editing (and it DOES need editing) and posting:

( ...no, I'm his agent, yeah. )

I post this now because Stephanie Benson just friended me on Facebook.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is: has anyone seen my shit?


Incidentally, if someone could find a way to take my ability to go from completely bored to ball-crushingly busy and convert it into something useful, like... I donno... butterflies?... Yeah. Get on that.

Zoom!

Signed,
-Jens

...yep.

Those are Russian jets.

Signed,
-Jens

( Gosh, I hope you got a picture of that with the camera on your beeper. )

If you're not watching 30 Rock, why are you even here?

Signed,
-Jens

A Brief History of Jens
by Jens Magelssen:

( Dad, I have spent over 10 years and $94,000 putting together my mosquito costume and now I am pleased to announce that I have become a mosquito. The costume is quite realistic and I have even attached bladders to the nose thing so that I can suck up liquids when I puncture them with my nose thing. I could be buzzing all around you on a hot summer day and you wouldn't even recognize me as your sun-child, you would just think, “Get away, Mosquito.” From my point of view, you would be 3,000 dads because of the way that I've designed the eyeballs. I might be saying, “Dad it's me – Dad, it's me,” but you wouldn't be able to understand my language because of its buzzing. I am also into plastics now and I am making tubes that you can suck liquids through; kind of like my mosquito nose, but used for different reasons. Hope you're doing well at camp. See you soon. )

Good.

All weapons cock!

Signed,
-Jens

I noticed a copy of this at the library today, and the urge to replace the tape inside with a blank one was almost irresistible. Not in malice; I like Arthur. Arthur's one cool dude. It just felt... appropriate? Luckunfortunatelyily, blank tapes were not readily available.

These kind of ideas seem to be occurring to me a lot recently. I need some sort of... idea... net.

Oh, and I found these from a while ago:

( I hate them all... except Turtleface. )

Don't worry; you know how mothers are about losing their sons.

Um.

It's from a thing.

Signed,
-Jens

Attention Shia LaBeouf's Character (whatever your name is):
Shiri Appleby Liz is so much hotter than Amy Smart, plus she is hitting on you. What the hell is wrong with you.





...



This movie is terrible.

Although, women invented babies.

Signed,
-Jens

Last night I dreamt the fourth season of Veronica Mars. It was all like "oh yeah it got uncancelled i don't really know what that was about PREVIOUSLY ON VERONICA MARS."

Real life is so fucking awful.

Oh, and it ended on a cliffhanger, obviously.

Signed,
-Jens

Just once, I want to see a talk show do a parody of a comedy sketch.

Signed,
-Jens